Im also a little scared at the thought of "being a mother" even though I have my step son in my life and have taken care of so many children . I "think" it may be totally different in the fact that it will be "my child". Crazy huh? I shouldnt be thinking that far ahead. We've got to get over the hurdle of my getting pregnant and staying that way until him/her are ready to enter into this world.
If all goes well, our son and/or daughter will be born on or before December 11th, 2007
I'm not sure how all will go since I have Sickle Cell. I read some things that I wished I hadnt. However, Tionne Watkins aka T-Boz of TLC has a more "advanced" form of it and has gone on to have a beautiful daughter. I guess thats a bridge we will cross once we get to it.
This has been such an emotional rollercoaster that I am so ready to get off of. It's emotionally and physically draining. I can remember when I first started this journey and feeling lost. I thought for sure my husband would leave me because I wouldnt be able to give him children, but as he reminded me, that is not why he married me. If we had children, that would be great but if we didnt, it wouldnt mean he'd love me any less. That was something "I" had to get control of. Yes, I have been in therapy for that and even though I knew what my therapist was telling me was the truth, it still didnt/doesnt help the yearning in my heart to be a mother. This is why it is so hard for me to understand those that are parents and the abuse that is inflicted upon their children, be it mentally, emotionally, spirtually or physically. It ANGERS me to see parents that shouldnt be parents having children when there are those like me who would love nothing more than to have a child.
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