This Progesterone Is Really Messing With Me

Ive been waking up EVERY morning with severe nasuea, sometimes continuing thruout the day. Im crampy, moody, feeling blah, my boobies hurt like nobodys business, I want to cry and Im tired.

We talk to our little Jelly Beans everyday and pray that everything will go just fine. Im trying to take it easy but being that I have OCD, at least thats what some people "think", I cant stop from cleaning plus cleaning relaxes my nerves.

I guess I'll go take my fat self an eat a Double Chocolate Drumstick, take my Progesterone and go lay down.

Im "Technically" Pregnant

I just hope we dont lose our babies. Ive already gone thru 2 maybe more miscarriages. As I was unpacking, I came across my "baggy" of used vials and needles we used for this cycle. I will throw them out..eventually :) The only meds Im still taking is the Progesterone

Stick Jelly Beans ~ Stick



Les got home a few mins ago and is making us pizza. Like I really need to be eating it but I am hungry. So off I go to eat with him

We're Going Home

We got up early to finish getting everything together. Les wouldnt let me lift anything. I could get used to this. We left before 11am. We stopped for gas and to eat and then headed out. I slept most the way. It also rained the enitre time. I happened to wake up, glanced to my right and saw a rainbow. I made a wish that our babies stuck around for the next 9 months so they could be welcomed into the world



We got home around 10:50pm. Loooong drive but boy were we happy to be H-O-M-E

Embie Transfer Day ~ Woohooo

The ET went smoothly. The Dr said the embies looked perfect. My beta is scheduled for April 7th. 5 days before our 5th anniversary. This is gonna be a loooooong 2 week wait

Now I just take it easy and let our babies get cozy for the next 9 months. Les has been so sweet. Its so funny watching him talk and kiss my belly. He told them:
"Hang in there, it'll be like Heaven for the next 9 months and then you have to come into the real world" Too cute

At least now we get to go home

Waiting For The Fertilization Report

I was a nervous wreck. I was scared that Id be told none made it. I was up early and call the moment I 'thought' someone would be there. I got Dr GM and he said to call back within an hr cause of the time difference. All I could do was wait.

I finally called back and with my speaking NO Spanish and the nurse speaking very little English, it was hard conveying why I was calling and why I needed to know about the report before 11am. Thats check out time at the hotel and it wouldnt be a need to stay if oue embies didnt make it. The nurse said she'd go speak with the other doctor and call me in about 30 minutes. Uuugh

30 minute mark - Dr Martinez informs me that: We have Embies. 3 of our Jelly Beans made it and my ET would be for 9am on Sunday. Thank You God. We decided we'd put back all 3 based on my age.

Egg Retrieval Day

Our egg retrieval is scheduled for 8:30 am. Well we didnt know they are an hr behind us, so we got there way early. It was REALLY crowded. Dr GM told us before hand that March is a good month to get preggers, so maybe thats why there were soo many couples there.

We finaly get called back and the nurse tells us our balance to pay $2650.00 which included the anesthesia. Apparently Dr GM hadnt informed them that we didnt have to pay that amount. Which to me shows he is definitely not in it for the money. So we had to wait until they talked with him. They finally get everything settled, we go to pay with our debit card and it kept getting declined. Well we knew the money was in there, so we asked where an ATM was and went to go withdraw the money instead. That was a no go so we had to drive back into the US. The line was long or at least it seemed that way. We get up to the US Border Patrol, he looks at our military ID's and starts asking DH questions about the difference in colors. Its Green if youre retired. He then asked why we were there and as always, everyone seems to know Dr GM, so he send us on our way and also tells us where the nearest Bank Of America is. And wouldnt you know it, Les all of a sudden decides to drive the speed limit We get the money and head back over.

We get back to the docs office and from there, its smooth sailing until I wake up. I became really sick and ended up pucking and I wont even talk about the cramps. Lets just say I was in freaking tears. The nurse did give me pain medication but it still hurt like hell.

Anywho, of the 8 follies I had, the Dr was only able to retrieve 4 eggies. He said "they" looked perfect. Ahh, how can they tell if eggs look good? I will call tomorrow morning around 9 to get the fertilization report and will be told when my ET will be.


Oh and about the card getting declined: BOA thought fraudlent charges was being made and put a block on it.

All Ive done is sleep and eat. I took an HPT and it came back positive so at least I know the trigger worked

We decided to head to head over to the beach to get out of the room but ahhh we didnt make it to the beach cause I ahh went to sleep and as soon as I got up, we headed over to Dennys..I wont even talk about what I ate. Lets just say I was so full I made Les walk around the hotel building with me TWICE

CD10 Ultarsound Report

I have a total of 8. Kinda bummed but Im ok with it. I'll take that over none. Theres 5 on the right and 3 on the left.

I take my last shot of Antagon today and will trigger tonight at 10pm. My ER is at 8:30 am Friday with ET on Monday.

Heres a picture of my follies on the right side

Missing Home

We're hanging in there.. We're gonna head out to the beach today to get out of this room. We are both missing "home" but we know we're here for a good reason. Les is learning to stay his distance cause I have been sick, tired and very moody. Last nights shots were baaaad. I had to double up on the menopur and it had me in tears almost.

CD8 Ultrasound Results

I have a few on the left which is up from none 2 days ago. The downside to this doc is that he isnt very "specific". I have a some follies at 12 and 16. He upped my Follistim to 300 iu and I start the Antagon tonight. I should be triggering Wed with my ER on Friday or Saturday and my ET on Monday

South Pedro Island

We decided to head out to the beach. In Texas they had already started Spring Break, but it was winding down, so it was too crowded.

Les and I walked along the beach and had some guy to take a pic for us



There was tons of JellyFish that had washed onshore



Les wanted to take a pic of the Seagulls. Yeah, didnt have anything to do with the half naked women in the background..LOL



Mr Sexy ~ Sexy



I will not make you go blind by posting a pic of me alone. I have gain soo much weight..Blah!!

We Finally Made It

We stopped around 1am at a rest area cause we were just too tired. We didnt have that far to go and I just couldnt see spending money on a hotel room for a few hrs.

We got up around 6, I think, and headed out. We stopped for snacks and I headed into the bathroom to "wash up" and brush my teeth. We made it into Brownsville around 10 am and headed straight for the Mexican border. We ended up missing our exit because there was construction going on and ended up at another border crossing. Les told the guy where we needed to go and he pointed us in the right direction. Im sure there are areas of Mexico you just shouldnt go but I can honestly say that we didnt encounter any problems. Plus his office is within walking distance, if one wanted to walk, from the border. We got stopped twice the entire time and all the Mexican border patrol did was look into our car. Now crossing back into the US, you get stopped EVERY time. Usually they just wanted to know why we were in Mexico. Did we bring anything back? Do we have anything to declare. Every border patrol person knew of Dr GM, so we didnt have any problems. They just took our ID's, ran em thru the computer and wished us good luck

Here are some pics:

Crossing the Rio Grande River



Headed Into Mexico



We finally made it to Dr GM's office for my CD6 u/s. Anywho, we go into the u/s room and it took everything in me not to cry cause I was so scared he was going to tell me I wasnt responding at all or that I had a cyst. So far I had 5 or 6 on the right (Dont know what size cause I forgot to ask), I could see em on the u/s though..I was so happpy to see em. Sad part: I had NONE on the left.

I also learned I had been taking the wrong dosage of Follistim. I wrote the wrong amount down. Instead of the 150iu I had been taking,it should have been 225iu.

We headed back into the US to register for our room. When we get there, it isnt ready so we walked over to Dennys and ate some lunch and then headed back over to the hotel.

We're Leaving For Mexico

We left not long after Les got home from school. We stopped to get something to eat at Mickey D's and then it occurred to me that it was almost time for my shots, so after eating, we pulled in between 2 cars and prepared the meds. We're both standing there hoping nobody is watching and thinking we were shooting up "illegal" drugs. It was weird and funny all at the same time.

I finally got my shots and then we proceeded to head out. I snapped a pic of Les as we were leaving. I'll be able to look at that Mickey D's when we go that route and say hey "thats where we did drugs". LOL

Im On Day 3 Of Shots

Its becoming easier to do them now. Other than feeling a little sick to my stomach, I dont feel anything as of yet. Hopefully Saturday I'll get a good report from the doctor that all is o.k.

We will be heading out some time tomorrow. Les decided to work late tonight since he will be missing a week of work with us being gone. Its probably a good thing anyway. Its already Spring Break in Texas and the prices for hotels are outrageous. I cant see spending anywhere from 55.00 on up to stay for only a few hrs. Im glad I made the reservations ahead of time for the hotel that we will be spending a week at.

So for now, thats about it

Second Day Of Shots

I cleaned, AGAIN, just about all day. I even cleaned out the truck and wiped it down with Armor All. Its so purty and it smells good too. Me, well thats another story. Wheeew

Les came home from school around 4:30 or so to give me my shots. This time it didnt take us an hr to figure anything out. We just jumped right into it. I wasnt nervous like I was yesterday. When he went to give me my 2nd shot {Menopur}, there was a little resistance. I hope that's a good thing and we didnt damage anything. We didnt see any blood, so I think all will be ok. Wouldnt you know it, I forgot to set the time on the cam AGAIN. I got one pic but it didnt come out that great. Theres always tomorrow though. Today I was thinking that we are gonna have to pull over when we leave to administer my shots. Thats gonna be something.

Today I also found out that another friend, via the web, lost her baby this past Monday. The same day as another friend from the same message board, lost her son. My heart breaks for them both. It seems so unfair.

Im off to take a shower and will probably lay down. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

I Did My First Shot Tonight

I wanted Les to do the first shots, so I could get some pics. Well it took us about an hr to figure out the meds and once we do, we head into the kitchen where I have the camera set up. He gets set to give me my first shot of the *Follistim*, Im whining like a 2 yr old cause Im scared and wouldnt you know it, the one that is scared of needles *Les*, is calm as I dont know what. He gives me the shot and it stings like a S.O.B. Its still stinging. We then realized I hadnt set the timer on the camera

Onto round 2. We get the Menopur set to go and wouldnt you know it..the battery in the cam dies, so I go searching through all my "old" batteries trying to find a decent one because the Menopur has to be used within 15 minutes of mixing. I finally find one and we get the pic snapped. That shot wasnt nearly as bad as the first one. Im feeling a little sick to my tummy. I dont know if its from the meds or from the food we had at Sonics.

Anywho, heres the pic. Dont mind all my fat...LOL

First Vial Of Menopur, Which Is What Les Is Giving Me In The Picture

She's Here ~ FINALLY

I started *spotting* last night *March 12th*. Here is the schdule of events

3/12 ~ AF finally started
3/13 ~ Start Meds *Menopur *75IU* and Follistim *150IU*
3/16 ~ ~ Leave For Tx
3/17 ~ U/s and B/w appt in Mexico
3/18 ~ Start Ganirelix
3/20 ~ Trigger @ 10pm
3/22 ~ ER
3/24 ~ ET

Im So Anxious

To get this cycle started. We're one step closer to possibly fulfilling our dreams. In October, we may have another little blessing to add as well.

Maybe She'll Come Today

I went back a few months and she's been alternating it seems. One month it's been 24 days and another 25 days. Today is CD25, so maybe she'll show up today..Please show up today

I must have been really tired because I didnt get up until a little after 2pm today. Well, I was up long enough to eat a bowl of Cookie Crisp and take a few swigs of coffee, but afterwards, I went straight back to la la land with Les following suit a few hrs later.

Guess I'll go start the dishwasher and see how the day progresses

Had To Re-Arrange..Again

I cant decide if I want to keep the canopy up over the crib or not. I dont know how many times Ive re-arranged the room. Im sure it wont be the last time either. Which looks better?

BEFORE:



AFTER:

I Tested Just To See

And of course it was a BFN {Big Fat Negative}. Shes still a no show. Les told me to just relax. Yes, I know but it is sooo hard. Hopefully she'll be here tomorrow.

I stopped by the consignment store today since today was the last day for it and just about everything was gone. I ended up buying 2 valances. They dont really match but who knows, if this cycle goes well, I might change the theme anyway once we find out the gender.

I am so tired its not even funny. Being Anemic is no joke. Ive been taking some vitamins with iron but I dont know if its really doing any good. I ended up taking a nap today. I rarely do that.

Anywho, here's a pic of one of the valances. I think Im gonna go down some chocolate chip cookies and call it a night

She Hasnt Shown Up Yet

I awoke to her not being here. Hopefully some time today or tonight, she'll show her face. Maybe I need to go look at my calendar and make sure I have the dates right. Figures that when I need her to be on time, shes late

Waiting..Waiting..Waiting

First off, Im tired as all get out. I have been cleaning most of the day. I get like this when I know Im going to be going out of town.

Its so crazy to sit here wishing aunt flo would hurry up. Ive always wished she didnt but in this case I need her to so I can get this cycle started.

I also did some daydreaming today. It was so nice out and the grass out in the backyard is so green and pretty. We put down some grass seeds last year and it looks like it worked. When we moved in there was nothing but dirt back there. I imagined our little Munchkin running around barefoot, playing in the grass. Too cute.

Well, hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to report that "shes here".

Only A Few More Days Left

Please AF {Aunt Flo} show up on Saturday like youre supposed to. I was looking over at my basket full of meds and the pen is in there for the Follistim. All I could think about was getting up the nerve to stick myself with the needle. Ouch!! At least it'll only be twice for the first few days.

I also broke my vow to not go to the consignment show. The highest thing on there is the breast pump which was $20.00. I was so happy when I found the Baby Time Capsule Kit. The one I had looked at online was almost $20.00 and I found this one for $5.00. I also added another Care Bears bear to my collection. I opened up the Sorry game and 2 of the pieces is missing. Guess we'll just have to use parts from some other games we have. Im not complaining though. It was cheap.

There were so many other things I would have love to have gotten but we are already having to spend quite a bit for this cycle. Thankfully the doc is willing to work with us. He's going to accept half of the total, $2500.00, and we will pay him monthly until June/July when we can pay it all off. I found a great deal on a hotel for the entire week. $320.00 which includes a $100.00 deposit. We will use that for gas on the way back. It has a kitchen in it, so we are just going to bring some quick and easy food from here with us. So that just leaves us with expenses for gas and food on the way down. I have the food covered and the fees we will have to pay crossing to and from Mexico. Ive been saving money in my little "IVF jar" for a few months now.

Here's my loot. The little baggie is full of wash cloths

Have To Get Out Of The House

Hubby called and asked me out to lunch because he thinks I shouldnt be sitting in here on such a nice day dwelling on anything. I agree. I do not want to put myself back into that dark space where infertility seems to put you. My heart is breaking for some friends on a message board I visit. They had to take a break from being there which I completely understand. It is hard seeing everyone around you getting their BFP {Big fat Positives}, their nurseries, etc and sitting there wondering when its going to be "your turn".

All DH and I can do is pray that this will finally be "our turn" and again, if not, we will just keeping trying until it is.

It's around 2:25pm. Im tired like you wouldnt believe. Dang you Anemia.

Lunch was good, we went to the "Grease House", well thats what we call it. Its called "The Greek House". We've gone there so much that the owner doesnt even ask us what we want..LOL. Thats kinda sad :-) We talked about the upcoming IVF cycle and Les asked if I was excited. Of course I am. We got to discussing names again. If we have a son, he wants to name him James William so we can call him "J.W.". Im still stuck on calling our daughter, if thats what we have, Nakiyah GracieLee. He then suggested we call her, Makayla Mae. I also like Makayla Nicole. I think once we see him and/or her, that we'll know what name fits.

Here are my 'buys' from today. Family Dollar, youre killing me. I am determined NOT to go to the consignment show they are holding at the fairgrounds tomorrow. Last yr I got some awesome stuff there for really cheap BUT if I keep this up, there wont be much left to buy. I have so much girl stuff that I bet I end up having a boy. Thats ok, cause I'll take either one.

Only 5 Days Left

I'm excited. Im nervous. Im scared. Scared of it working and scared of it not working. Im scared at the thought that Les might not be here to see his children become adults. I know that is not my call but it still scares me.

Im also a little scared at the thought of "being a mother" even though I have my step son in my life and have taken care of so many children . I "think" it may be totally different in the fact that it will be "my child". Crazy huh? I shouldnt be thinking that far ahead. We've got to get over the hurdle of my getting pregnant and staying that way until him/her are ready to enter into this world.

If all goes well, our son and/or daughter will be born on or before December 11th, 2007

I'm not sure how all will go since I have Sickle Cell. I read some things that I wished I hadnt. However, Tionne Watkins aka T-Boz of TLC has a more "advanced" form of it and has gone on to have a beautiful daughter. I guess thats a bridge we will cross once we get to it.

This has been such an emotional rollercoaster that I am so ready to get off of. It's emotionally and physically draining. I can remember when I first started this journey and feeling lost. I thought for sure my husband would leave me because I wouldnt be able to give him children, but as he reminded me, that is not why he married me. If we had children, that would be great but if we didnt, it wouldnt mean he'd love me any less. That was something "I" had to get control of. Yes, I have been in therapy for that and even though I knew what my therapist was telling me was the truth, it still didnt/doesnt help the yearning in my heart to be a mother. This is why it is so hard for me to understand those that are parents and the abuse that is inflicted upon their children, be it mentally, emotionally, spirtually or physically. It ANGERS me to see parents that shouldnt be parents having children when there are those like me who would love nothing more than to have a child.

Some Names "I've" chosen

Les insist that he will ask that Im knocked out so he can name our children

These are the names Ive come up with for a girl:
Nakiyah GracieLee
Nakiyah is an African girl name
The meaning of the name is
Beautiful in Gods eyes; Precious gold
GracieLee is a mixture of my mothers middle name and my mother n law, first name

Makayla Angelina
Maykayla is English
The meaning of the name is
Who is Like God
Angelina
Angelina is an Italian name
The meaning of the name is
Little ANGEL

Boys:
Christopher Treyvaughn
Christopher is a English boys name
The meaning of the name is
Anointed, Follower of Christ

William James or James William
William is my dads middle name and James is my father n law,middle name.

Christopher Jaden
Jaden is English
The meaning of the name is:
Thankful

The Nursery

I found this 4 n 1 crib at a garage sell for only $100.00. It didnt come with instructions but I was able to "figure" it out and I put it together. I had Les to test it to see how safe it was/is and I know if he can get in it without it falling apart, then its safe to say, its ok. I went with a Care Bears Theme ~ Click On Pics To Enlarge

Buying a baby bed ~ $100.00

Making your husband test it out ~ Priceless

Looking in from door

I bought this changing table at the Salvation Army for $27.99 plus tax. All I had to do was clean it up

Here are just "some" of the baby clothes I have

I think I have enough diapers to hold me over for awhile

There's only a few things Id like to get but will wait because I would love to have a baby shower

My Obsession :-)

ok, so Im a little obsessed. Thank goodness these are only a dollar. I also have a box of digitals. I plan on testing the day AFTER my embryo transfer. In theory if I continue to get a positive, then that has to mean Im pregnant and its not the trigger shot of Hcg

I think we'd be rich if we added up how much Ive spent on pregnancy and ovulation tests.

Even though I know I cant get preggers "naturally", I still do the OPK's for sanity purposes. At least I know Im still ovulating. These are some test from my OPK's {ovulation predictor kits}

July 06

Sept 06

Oct 06

How We Met and Other Info

Hubby and I met in 2001, online, via AOL. I asked him about his "unusual" screen name, which was based off of a cartoon. We started chatting on and offline. I eventually came to see him but not before letting everyone know where I was going, his home and work number, etc. Gotta be careful these days. He was twice divorced, same as me and had a 8 yr old at the time. We made sure to meet the weekend he didnt have his son because we didnt know how things would progress relationship wise and its always so confusing for children when meeting someone new and then never seeing them again. Click on pictures to enlarge

Day we got married



Amusement Park


Les was the perfect gentleman. Needless to say, I ended up moving here and have been here ever since. We've gone through a lot in our marriage, even on the verge of divorce more than I care to mention. It wasnt until he was diagnosed with a brain cancer called Glioblastoma. It is the highest grade of cancer. It was then that we both realized that all the things we fought about or thought were important, really werent. That was one of many times in my life that I was scared. He is in remission now and if its the Lord's will, he will continue to stay that way for a long time to come.

Finally able to eat

Done With Radiation

Les retired from the Navy in 2003 and will be graduating in May 2007 with a BA in Electrical Engineering which is a dream come true for him and I'm a college student majoring in Social Work/Counseling and Im also a volunteer advocate for the YWCA

The Surgery and The Disappointment

I got the call from the nurse letting me know that my insurance would pay for the surgery 100% IF it was done before the fiscal yr ended which is Oct. 1. I said ok, when !?? My pre op appt - Sept. 13th and the surgery would be Sept 15th. First, that is the same weekend that my uncle has his BBQ and I really didnt want to explain why I was having the surgery done.The pre op appt was going well until the very end of the appt.. Dr Le was so sweet. He hated that we had to drive the 6 hrs {round trip} for a 30 minute appt. I had already had a lap done so I knew what was involved but it was good having him go over everything again. We were taken to a room where the finance lady came out to speak with us about the financial aspect of the surgery. My understanding was that we had already paid our co pay and our insurance would take care of it 100%. Wrong. We were told our share would be a little over $ 500.00. I told the coordinator that hubby and I would have to discuss it and would let her know the next day. We got what we needed to take over to the hospital {lab work} and headed over there to get that done incase we decided to go ahead and pay for it. We run into the same problem at the hospital about what was going to be covered, so I told Les to forget it and we headed home. Traffic was starting to get bad and we were stuck in it. I had turned my phone off, went to turn it back on and there was a message from the clinic stating they had made a misstake and everything was covered 100%, so Les had to turn back around so I could go get my bloodwork done. It was a little after 4 by that time and we needed to be back here before 9 so Les could be at school. We finally got everything straightened out, did my bloodwork and headed home. I dropped Les off at school about 30 minutes before he was supposed to be there.

Surgery Day

We picked up my step son the day before. We left around 7:30 and arrived in Ft Worth around 10 something. We got settled but had to leave around 11 because I had to be at the hospital no later than 12. Les's parents hadnt arrived yet but about 15 minutes before we left, they came in. We said our hello's and off to the hospital we went. Admittance went smoothly. I was escorted to my room and met with the anesthesiologist. The nurse came in and started my IV *ouch* and not soon afterwards, Dr Le came in and said he would do all he could to not damage anything, etc. I dont remember anything after that. The next thing I knew I was back in the room, sick to my stomach. Les said I wasnt very nice to him word wise..LOL. I was discharged and off to my uncles we went. Les showed me the pictures Dr Le had given him and told me what he said. He couldnt take my tubes out because they were stuck to my bowel and he didnt want to risk tearing it, so he cauterized both tubes at the entrance of the uterus. The adhesions came back with a vengence and he lysed those down.I was also informed I have what is called a frozen pelvis.

Recovery

It wasnt too bad, especially since I was on Vicodin. Im slowly but surely getting better. It's nothing like the surgery I had last Oct, thank goodness. Ive gone from just spotting to a full blown mentrual cycle , which I hate because I wasnt due to come on til Monday. I dont know how this will affect my cycles now.

Follow Up's

Emotionally, I was a mess. I felt like I had lost contol over the one thing I should have control over, my body. It started to set in that I will NEVER get pregnant without IVF, even though I knew my tubes had to be removed. At least each month when I did the OPK's, there was a "chance" that I might get pregnant again. Now that's gone and Im hurt, Im ANGRY. Im angry at my ex husband and at myself because of the reason why my tubes were so badly damaged. It could have come from him and his cheating. I do know from his medical records that what he had is the MAIN cause of hydrosalpinxed tubes. But I never got tested because I never had any symptoms. Or it could have happened "prior" to my meeting him. I will never know.

October 2006

I saw the doctor again in October. I was going in to have an antral count done, but wouldnt you know it, a big ole cyst came up instead. I affectionately named her Nessie.



I was put on birth control to try and shrink it cause Lord knows I didnt want to have any more surgeries. I also had to get my E-2 and FSH levels done that day.

Results: FSH ~ 9.2

E-2 ~ 45

Probably high because of cyst

My FSH is also on the high side. I emailed my RE about the results and was told that I should just go straight to using donor eggs because Im borderline in having a diminished ovarian reserve. I didnt want to accept that just yet and was told that with other factors, such as one of my ovaries being too high and may be unable to reach during retrieval, along with all the adhesions and scar tissue, attempting IVF using my own eggs would porbably only result in 5 eggs total. Well the way I see it is, if we get one baby out of those 5, then we'd be happy. He agreed to let me pursue IVF using my own eggs IF I passed the Clomid Challenge Test.

November 2006

I decided to go ahead and do some of my lab work such as Hep C/B, HIV {Negative - Get tested people}, CBC, Sickle Cell, FSH, E2 and some other stuff.

Results: FSH ~ 10.39 {Even higher}

E2 ~ 15

Sickle Cell ~ POSITIVE { Huh!?! What!?!}

I again emailed my RE and didnt get the response I wanted~ Technically you already failed the CCT ~Wouldnt be able to go any further with him unless I used a donor. Well, I refuse to go with a donor until I have tried with my own eggs first. My FSH level is high but thats doesnt mean I cant use my own eggs nor does it mean I wouldnt have a live birth.

So all I can do is pray that the upcoming cycle works and if not, then we will try again.

Why I Have To Do IVF

Hubby and I began this journey in April 2003, when I went in because I was having painful periods. Little did I know it would come to this. I have had every test done imaginable. The bloodwork, countless appts, the ultrasounds. I also learned that I had a Fibroid thats 24x17x27. Its not in a place where it should cause any problems

2005

I started seeing a new doctor. Again, I wasnt ready to throw in the towel. I'll give the short version of my journey with the new doctor. She did everything she could to see to us getting pregnant "naturally". I ended up getting cysts for the first time ever and after being on birth control, the one cyst turned into 2 on both ovaries. I ended up having to have surgery and what was supposed to be an hr or 2 surgery, turned into 4 because the doctor found extensive adhesions, which she removed, she also removed the cysts. She decided not to remove Fibroid because she thought this would cause bleeding into my tubes, which were now both closed. She performed a Salpingostomy, it's actually called "neosalpingostomy" in hopes of opening my tubes. She then performed a Fimbrioplasty which was successful. After all of that, she applied some rubbery material called Gelfoam around my tubes and ovaries in hopes of preventing more adhesions. Also Ovarian drilling was done which from my reading, is done if women dont ovulate, that wasnt my problem and it seems that has done more harm than good because it seems like Im going into Premature Ovarian Failure. Since then my cycles have been irregular, I lost hair due to the anesthesia, which I didnt even know could happen. It's slowly but surely coming back in. Thank God for wigs and weave :-) After surgery I was wheeled into my room and from what my hubby says, he said it looked like I was knocking on deaths door. I felt horrible. It was the most horrible pain I think Ive ever felt. It was so bad that I ended up needing Morphine, which in turn made me sick as a dog. I basically had a C-section minus a baby.

Here's a pic of my scar

The other marks you see like little dots are from my laps in 2003 and 2006. I was in the hospital, I think 3 days. I then went home and it hurt so bad laying down that I ended up sleeping on the sofa, which lets out to recline, propped up on pillows. After my recovery, I did a follow up and that was a far as I could go with that doctor. I got my post op report and it said that should I become preggers, I will need a C-section due to the location of the Fibroid. At this point, we knew our only chance at becoming parents would be via IVF and here, that isnt cheap, so we looked elsewhere.2006Via a message board I visit, I was told about a Dr in Irving, Tx. which is a 3 hr drive, one way. I made the appt and we got in to see him.

August 2006

We went in for our appt on the 16th and talked with him about what the game plan would be. He performed a sonogram and I was in the process of ovulating. I had a lead follie at 26mm and my lining was at a 12. 3. Dr Le said it didnt look like I had PCOS {Polycystic Ovary Syndrome} but that my ovaries looked good, although the right one looked like it was being held down by scar tissue. My left tube was clearly visiable on the sonogram. Not good. After the sonogram, we went over the cost of everything and how the IVF process would go. He gave me and hubby some lab work to do. Hubby did a Semen Analysis at that time as well. We got hubbys S.A back on the 17th and via email, the doctor stated that: Your husband's semen analysis revealed slow motility and sperm heads that are small. Based on these findings, I recommend that we perform ICSI to make sure that your eggs have a chance to be fertilized. This is more than likely due to hubby having to take the meds for Chemo. At this point, we also decided I would go in to have my tubes removed due to the Hydrosalpinx.

This Is My Protocol For My Upcoming Cycle

150iu of Follistim. I was going to use Bravelle but someone was kind to donate the Follistim to me which is what my current doctor uses. I will be taking 75iu of Menopur. I will start taking that beginning on CD2. This doctor doesnt use birth control pills. I will then get blood work and ultrasounds done on CD 6,8 AND 9. On CD7, I will begin taking the Ganirelix up until CD9.

Here are the meds I will be using.

On CD9, at exactly 10pm, I will take the HcG shot. Thank God all the shots are subQ. The last time I had to take the Hcg shot, it was intramuscular and Les had to give it to me. Well I told him to count to 3 but what does he do, counts to 1 and sticks me. I swear I wanted to kick him.

My egg retrieval is scheduled for the 20th {March} and my embryo transfer is scheduled for the 22nd. All of this depends on if I start as planned, if I respond well to the meds and if my babies make it so they can be implanted. The doctor only does 3 day transfers because he believes the embroys will have a better chance inside the uterus instead of in a "dish". Because of my age and depending on how many embryos we get, we plan on transferring 3.

Here's a video to see how the process works



It makes me angry on how much an IVF cycle will run. This is why we have chosen to go outside the U.S. The meds alone can run from $1000.00 on up, depending how how much you will need per cycle and what meds you will have to take. We tried getting approval via Tricare but was denied. They will pay for Viagra and they will pay for infertility meds as long as its NOT used in conjunction with "unnatural" methods. How can wanting to have a child be unnatural? It shouldnt matter how that child is brought into this world be it through intercourse or with the help of technology.

Please take the time to sign this petition

http://www.petitiononline.com/HR3014HU/petition.html

I bought this today

I keep telling myself Im going to stop buying baby clothes.