Im mixed with emotions right now. While I was having the u/s done, I thought - why cant I be in here looking at our baby?!?
I then had to look at - ok, I didnt have to but I did - of u/s shots of a baby from 10 weeks to full term. I held it together though.
Ive been through a lot in life but this really hurts me to the core. I havent allowed it to consume my life - not like I did when I first began this journey but there are days when it really hits me of how much I long to be a (bio)mom. It's a feeling that nobody will ever understand unless theyve gone through or are going through what I am.
Ive asked myself a dozen times if I want to put my body and emotional well being thtough this - again and the answer is a mixture of yes, no, and maybe. More so of a yes because I have to know so I can get some kind of closure if there is ever one in this type of situation.
At this moment, I have a headache. Im super tired and my arm hurts from my blown vein.
I want to take a nap but time is flying by. I need to cook dinner, perm and dye my hair. I just dont have the energy but one must continue on...
No comments:
Post a Comment