Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What Im Feeling...


Im mixed with emotions right now. While I was having the u/s done, I thought - why cant I be in here looking at our baby?!?

I then had to look at - ok, I didnt have to but I did - of u/s shots of a baby from 10 weeks to full term. I held it together though.

Ive been through a lot in life but this really hurts me to the core. I havent allowed it to consume my life - not like I did when I first began this journey but there are days when it really hits me of how much I long to be a (bio)mom. It's a feeling that nobody will ever understand unless theyve gone through or are going through what I am.

Ive asked myself a dozen times if I want to put my body and emotional well being thtough this - again and the answer is a mixture of yes, no, and maybe. More so of a yes because I have to know so I can get some kind of closure if there is ever one in this type of situation.

At this moment, I have a headache. Im super tired and my arm hurts from my blown vein.
I want to take a nap but time is flying by. I need to cook dinner, perm and dye my hair. I just dont have the energy but one must continue on...

And So It Begins....

AF started on Sat the 4th but I didnt have a full flow until Sunday so my doctor counted Sunday as CD1 which would put me at CD4 today.

Today consisted of getting my labs done which were...

E2 (Estradiol)
LH
FSH
TSH
Some people do not realize this is why some women have facial and chest hair.
I keep mine cut...lol
AMH
This is something new to have done and Ive been having tests done this since 2003
HGB (Electrophoresis)

One blown vein (sounds worse then it really is) and 6 vials later...

Friday, August 3, 2012

My Best Friend - My Husband

I so love this man....

The day we said - I DO!
May 26, 2012


Praying For Our Miracle

Updated Picture From Last Surgery

My tummy looks like what I call a "war zone area" but each and every surgery has been worth it in my attempts to become a (bio)mom.

It looks like I have two belly buttons huh? LOL!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

New Doctor

I saw my new RE on the 16th of July. For whatever reason, AF decided to show up 10 days - EARLY. Ole heffa.

The doctor and I went over a few things and I asked a lot of questions which he was all too happy to answer. Im in the waiting stage of my cycle (at the moment) because we cant proceed with any type of testing until AF shows up. Every single tests and then some will be performed.

Everything pretty much depends on what my results are. We can either proceed with IVF or I will be asking for a hysterectomy or possibly a way to just end my cycles which can be done via a procedure called - endometrial ablation.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Clearblue Fertility Monitor.

Ive been tracking my ovulation this month with the CFM - Clearblue Fertility Monitor. Talk about (im)patiently waiting to see the 2 bars I received today which hopefully will lead to 3 in the next day or 2.

Im at my peak today. CD13.



Thursday, June 28, 2012

My Last Surgery

Some time in 2008, I went back to my doctor to have a lap done - again - but it turned into a full blown surgery.
Why? Cause the doctor had punctured my intestines which upon looking into my medical records, had been the 2nd time.

Preparing to head into surgery

When I woke up, you talk about sick to the stomach. Come to find out I wasnt taking too well to the Morphine. I couldnt be released until I had a bowel movement which took about 3 freaking days.

My tummy is all swollen


I had my staples removed by doctor who saw this and stated I should keep it dry and dressed. After a few days, it wasnt getting any better.
After going to ER because I started feeling miserable and with a fever, learned there was infection AND a hole

I was sent to the wound care center where they did my initial wound care and then taught us how to do it. Each day I had to pack and unpack my would with sterile gauze. The right bottom pic shows that it was starting to heal.


Sunday, June 24, 2007

Aunt Flo (Period) Finally Came

On CD 32. And boy oh boy did she come. I have never bled like this before but the one good thing is, Im not in as much pain as I used to be. Hopefully she'll be a little more regular now.

Im still a little tired and s-o-r-e. Mainly on the right side. Poor hubby is still dealing with my twisting and turning in bed to try and get comfy. He better not say anything with all the snoring he does.

I also keep forgetting to take my freaking iron pills. Im supposed to be taking them 3x's a day..Uuuugh!! My next appt is on the 2nd of July. I will be discussing with the doc about the bill and what the rep at Tricare stated. According to the rep, a (medical) code used, stated that something was punctured during surgery and thats why I was sent the claims form. This is why I ALWAYS get a Post-Op report after my surgeries.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

August Protocol

This time we will be leaving out the Menopur. Why? I follow someone's journal and although I have yet to be told I have PCOS. I have all the symptoms not to mention it seems that every time I go in for an ultrasound, I have cysts. This is taken from her journal in regards to PCOS and using the "wrong" protocol. My doc doesnt use Menopur but I explained to him that it was the protocol my doc here in the states had me on. Yes, the same one that didnt inform me about the Fibroid being an issue among other things.

"Eggs aren't born bad...they are made that way." He explained what he meant by this at length...

He said that the eggs generally start out fine...but, as they grow the environment can cause the chromosomes to get messed up which is called aneuploidy. Dr. Sher told me that I am the same age as his daughter (35) and that most women my age have 65-75% of their embryos be aneuploid (wrong number of chromosomes)...that's just nature and perfectly normal. But, with PCOS, I would have an even higher percentage of eggs/embryos that are aneuploid because they are subjected to wrong hormone levels which cause bad eggs. If my eggs are subjected to the wrong protocol while they are growing, then that will cause even more to be abnormal. I could easily be approaching 100% abnormal eggs/embies when I am stimming with the wrong injectables.

Dr. Sher explained that in women with PCOS they have higher testosterone levels. I said, "Well, all of my bloodwork has been normal. I don't have elevated testosterone." He told me something I hadn't ever heard before. He said that the ovaries contain a lot of connective tissue where testosterone is produced. He said that in women with PCOS, they produce WAY more testosterone in their ovaries than "normal" women. He said the testosterone at the ovary site may be 8 times higher than normal. But, even though the testosterone is higher in and around the ovary, it doesn't necessarily get into the bloodstream so that your b/w may be normal but you still have high testosterone at the ovary. Imagine how high the testosterone must be at the ovary site for women who have bloodwork that shows high testosterone!

Anyway, he said that the high testosterone is what causes the eggs to go "bad" and get the wrong number of chromosomes. That is one of the main reasons that women with PCOS suffer from infertility. They have a hard time ovulating in the first place, but even if they release an egg it has a very good chance of being aneuploid...which will result in either not conceiving, miscarriage or a baby with birth defects.

Dr. Sher said that the eggs are like a tree...it needs both sunlight and water to grow. You can't just keep a tree in the dark and give it water...it needs both to grow properly.

Dr. Sher said that he does not think my age is a big factor here. He said that the protocol I have been using has been wrong. He said that women with PCOS have too much LH...an inverted LH to FSH ratio...and the elevated LH levels (from the pituitary) causes the testosterone in the ovary to go up which leads to bad eggs.

You don't want to give a woman with too much LH MORE LH! That adds fuel to the fire. He said that "women with PCOS are very vulnerable" and they must be stimulated carefully. He said that they should not use stims that contain LH or HCG.


So we will be using only Follistim for the upcoming IVF #2 cycle.

Here's the pen which is sooo much more easier and comfortable to use



I cant say thank you enough to a dear friend who donated this to me. I still have some left over from our last cycle.



Protocol:

Cycle day 2: Ultrasound to make sure I have no cysts and to see how many antral follies I have. If all is ok, then I'll start the Follistim that night.

Cycle day 3-7: I'll use the last of the Follistim on cd7 and start the Antagon {to prevent me from ovulating early} that night as well.

Cycle day 7-9: Antagon. Last dose on cd9. Trigger with Hcg at 10pm.

Cycle day 11: Retrival day and start Progesterone

Cycle day 13: Embryo Transfer

2 weeks later, go for Beta and pray that its a positive